I’m Disappointed I Have To Keep Talking


No lie.

I’m as shocked as you are.

To be clear, I’m not sorry that I might inconvenience people with my ongoing pushback against the Trump administration and their horrific decisions, but, alas, I am pissed off about it. I’m angry that in 2016, yesteryear’s idyllic future of world peace and flying cars, I’m having to plead with people to understand the difference between right and wrong.

Things that would be easier than watching the entire state of America collapse beneath the self serving, narcissistic weight of bigots and billionaires in power? A kidney stone. A rectal prolapse. Probably death.

Okay, maybe a teensy bit dramatic, that being death, but I’d be lying through my veneers if I didn’t admit that every day I wake up to some new political disaster, a little of me dies. The unconscionable targeting of women, of Muslims, of the poor, now Transwomen. Everyday, someone else is on the sharp end of Vlad Trump’s shimmering pike, and I have to- literally must- say something.

Silence is not an option. Silence is, in fact, passive approval of the stripped rights, blanket attacks and dehumanization of millions of Americans. Silence is easy, I guess, if it isn’t you.

I’m disappointed I have to explain why the revocation of protections for Trans people hurts countless individuals and makes us even further vulnerable to violence.

I’m disappointed I have to explain why the murder of Transgender women of color is a big deal and disproportionate to other national homicide statistics.

I’m frustrated that I have to keep asking the media to respectfully report on such tragedies with compassion and beg they preserve the dignity of the victims by simply referring to them as the gender they presented.

I’m deeply saddened that I have to repeatedly point out what seems so painfully obvious: “You’re killing us.”

“You’re placing us in harms way.”

“You’re reducing us to ballot issues, prioritizing personal opinions over our very lives.”

Worse than anything? “You’re lying.”

We Trans people are being grossly misrepresented by the louder voice of fear-driven policies and ignorance. Platforms are being given to Religiously motivated politicians who suffer, not a christian dilemma, but a complex of narcissism. Those using religion as an excuse to vilify Trans people aren’t religious devotees, they’re angry, self-righteous wrecking balls of moral corruption who don’t give a shit about God or the concept of loving thy neighbor at all. They want power and superiority over those they deem weaker; those unworthy of the same rights and liberties they enjoy. Don’t let them convince you that their enthusiastic introductions of new bills and legislation designed to persecute me for being Trans is due to being beholden or accountable to any God. They simply don’t want me to sit at their table of social elites. They’ve confused their lack of approval for me as a right to use government to condemn me.

So, I have to keep talking. I have to educate, advocate and remain visible.

Sure, wouldn’t it be dandy to have been born white, straight, CIS gender John, happily digging away with my spoon in the garden, planting tulip bulbs while the rest of the world fought the battle of Politicians versus minorities. You know, not having to think about what is going to happen to my rights as a Transwoman… or worry for my friends who have a uterus, all of which are currently painted with a bullseye. Or, my muslim friends living in terror over the emboldened intolerance and uprising of hate in America.

You see, silence is a privilege; One I don’t have. So many who have that option, where silence is so easy, take it for granted. And they get irate because I won’t shut up. They tell me “It’ll be fine” and to “Relax” like I’m a twelve year old waiting anxiously for a flu shot. Of course, I had to listen to them squalling in absolute panic for the last Eight years, swearing up and down that Obama was coming for their guns.

They weren’t concerned with silence back then. No. Not when they demanded a birth certificate from the President to prove his authenticity as an American. They were a loud gaggle of geese then, weren’t they? However, they’re bizarrely quiet about the current Presidents evasive tax returns. But, if you point this out, you’re told to sit down and shut up. How can the self professed Moral America be so blind to their own hypocrisies?

How can they not understand that as a human being, I’m more worthy of protecting than a gun? I support the second amendment, honestly, by why is it that all the others, where my rights are concerned, are negotiable?  The sitting president just blocked credible media organizations from attending his press conference because they’ve criticized him… violating the Freedom of Press- the first amendment for those wondering why it was such a tremendous issue. His blindly loyal followers will bend on that, just as the newly appointed conservative lawmakers are failing to uphold this:

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion”

But damn, this is my new normal. Talk, talk, talk. Write until my finger hurt.  Not your fight? Lucky you. Stay silent if you choose, but expect me to follow your lead. You weren’t silent when you felt threatened by the untouchables on Capitol Hill, how dare you expect me to be, when I’m in the firing line now, again.